Cause I can hear me breathe, it’s time for me to leave

Seems I didn't cough much after last night's post because, well, in order to cough you have to be able to move air in your lungs and all.

I went to bed around 11:45 or so and woke up 20 minutes later feeling mighty, mighty funny.

And not in a blog with a lampshade on your head funny, either.

My right lung felt very, very tight and I was making funny noises when I breathed.

I have an inhaler, and it helped somewhat, but not for very long.

I got out my stethoscope (I used to be a real nurse, I haven't always pushed papers, ya know) and decided, "Well, that ain't right."

I tried to sleep some more, but no dice.

Every time I did fall asleep, I'd wake up 15 minutes later gasping for air.

I took a shower around 4am and drank some hot tea.

At least I was clean and hydrated while I was dying short of breath.

Thinking I might have pneumonia or fulminating pulmonary edema or something, I decided to go see the doctor around 5am.

I went to the ER at my place of business and they promptly took me back and did an EKG.

Damn, I hadn't thought of cardiac issues in my worst case scenario.

The nurse did the EKG, looked at the paper and bolted from the room.

Now, if that doesn't do an already short of breath body good, I don't know what does.

He returned and started doing other stuff, so I said, "Hey, you'd tell me if I were dead or something, wouldn't you?"

He just kinda looked at me and said, "We have 5 minutes to get the EKG signed by the attending physician."

Oh.

Ya might wanna tell sick people that before you high-tail it out of the room.

Anyway, I got a chest x-ray and it was clear.

I don't have pneumonia, and they are saying it's "allergies".

Hmm.

Not so sure about that, but whatever.

I got a breathing treatment, some steroids, some narcotics (Lortab, go me), an inhaler and some nose spray.

I've never told y'all about my nose phobia, have I?

Coke addict? Ur not doin' it right. Fail.

CANNOT put anything up my nose, but I managed to act like a grown-up when they gave me the spray.

I was there for about 4 hours (yay for my new Nintendo DS Lite I won at Donna's) and was discharged.

I came home and tried to sleep, but was literally kept awake by the musical stylings of my lungs.

I alternately thought Busy D, was crying downstairs, the dog was howling and a car drove up the driveway, and it all turned out to be me breathing.

PSA: when you wear your pajamas to your place of business in the dark and leave your place of business in the light, you still have your pajamas on.

Pajamas. At work.

A new one, even for me.

P. S. I know you're on edge waiting for me to wrap up my BlogHer trip, I'll try to get to it after I make some sort of contribution to the household today.

Try to contain yourselves in the meantime.